Take My Money: 👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅 9/10
This piece was originally posted on 8th June 2016.
One of the best things about being a kid was the lollipops. Doctors, Shopkeepers, Waiters, everyone was always giving you one. Then you grew up and it felt like doctors, shopkeepers, and waiters were more keen on giving you bills than giving you candy. Adulthood is hard, man.
Whilst we’ve gotten used to not taking candy from strangers anymore, wine lollipops are officially a thing to combine the bliss of lolly-licking with the beauty of wine-tasting in our post-teens.
A company called Lollyphile has released a line of wine lollipops, and they’re just as amazing as they sound.
And wait ‘til you hear how they sound. There’s Cabernet Sauvignon pops, Chardonnay, and Merlot pops, as well as a mixed pack for when you really want to get wild. The wine lollipops come in the according colours, and look just like the ones we got as a child. Except, yknow, better. ‘Cause wine and stuff.
For all those who love the taste of wine (as opposed to just using it to get wine-drunk), it’s an instant hit. Stuck in rush hour traffic on the way home? Have a lick. Going out to take the dog for a walk? Unwrap a lolly. Watching a horror movie and need some snacking company? Have a suck.
That’s right – all mundane everyday activities can now be spiced up with the lick of a wine lolly. Aside from some serious calorie intake, it won’t even get you drunk. It turns out these trippy lollies actually do not contain any alcohol.
Wait…………… Wine lollipops that can’t get you tipsy? Wine lollipops for the enjoyment of the taste of wine? Being sophisticated and not eating alcohol-infused candy to get shwasted?
Welcome to adulthood.
All images cr: Lollyphile
(To be fair, they’re a brilliant option for designated drivers and expecting mothers. Get yours over on Lollyphile. There’s beer ones too.)